A Brief History of Time...

One month was all it took to realize I couldn't do this journey alone.

When I joined Anytime Fitness on July 1 (which was a fluke, by the way... it's actually quite a funny story), I decided I was going to take it into my own hands to lose the weight the same way I had gained the weight... alone.  It had been years since I'd been in a gym, but I remembered the basics: warm-up, weights, cardio, done... oh, and always wipe off the machines.

When mid-August rolled around and I hadn't really lost any weight, I went to the gym owner for some tips.  He suggested taking this Bootcamp class on Saturday mornings at 9am.  That seemed so incredibly early and so incredibly intimidating.  He introduced me to Melissa Romano, a personal trainer, who taught the class.  She was cute.  She was tiny.  She was everything I wasn't but wanted.  (I think I at one point called her Barbie.  Melissa, I'm sorry I ever misjudged you.)  As we chatted about the class, this is the basic gist of how my own thoughts were going: "An hour of strength and cardio training... yeah right... lady, have you seen me??... you probably have no idea what I'm facing... you work in Bridgeport where everyone is thin, rich, and beautiful... you don't really think I can do this... whatever, you are just saying I'll be 'fine'..."

If you know me well enough, you know I'm telling the truth.

I went to bootcamp, and I survived.  I couldn't really do anything the rest of the class was doing, but I didn't die.  I don't think I went back for a few weeks.

Somewhere along the way, I was talked into going to this PiYo class on Wednesday nights that were taught by, you guessed it, Melissa.  PiYo is a mix of Pilates and Yoga.  Now, I thought I could probably doing this because, despite my size, I'm actually quite flexible, and I used to do Pilates sporadically in college.

I went to PiYo, and I survived.  Again, I couldn't really do much of anything, and when I left, I limped for a week because my legs and butt were so sore that it hurt to sit down.

I think I finally realized what I was actually facing.  For the first time in the two or three month period since I started exercising "regularly" (between 1-4 times a week), I saw myself at the bottom of this mountain that I needed to climb, and I finally realized that I probably couldn't do this by myself.

After many conversations with Melissa, I realized a few things.  She really did care to see me succeed.  She never judged me, not even for a second.  She didn't care what my size was, but she did care how much I wanted this and how much she could help me.  (I stopped calling her Barbie after this.)

Between September and now, I have done things I never thought I could ever do (like 100 leg lifts or 200 jumping jacks or 150 squats... all in an hour).  That woman has changed my life like she will never, ever realize.  She's not only helping me better my body, but she is strengthening my mind and spirit, too. 

As I start this new year, my new motto is, "You either adapt, you migrate, or you die" (Charles Darwin).  You can either adapt to the bad habits, people, or surroundings that are holding you down, or you can migrate to higher ground... because if you don't, you will die.  Whether in mind, spirit, or body, you will die.  I can't have that, and neither can you.  Be proactive.  Be productive.  Hard work.  Determination.  YOU FIRST.