Last Friday was our first half-day Friday at work, which is a complete perk of working for this company. Once work was over at noon, we headed down to the gym for our last workout of the week with Ben. He had us walk to the Riverwalk, make both loops, and walk back to the gym. After all was said and done, we had a nice two-mile walk.
During the walk, Ben and I talked a long time about goals and past performances and nutrition. He is very knowledgeable about food and nutrition, and he is a good listener (which helps... a lot). I have come to the conclusion that I can't go as hard and as fast as I did before I broke my foot. It took me months to work up to that, and I've been out of the exercise game for too long to have those things be second nature to me anymore. So I'm dialing this experience back, and I'm starting to re-focus myself toward getting to be where I was when I gave up.
A time when I started considering myself an athlete.
An athlete... at 200+ lbs. I never in my life would have imagined I would be doing the things I did when I trained with Melissa. I ran a 5k. That was the single most inspirational moment of my life. Looking back, I can't believe 1) I actually did it, and 2) I gave up on that dream. I remember how it felt to realize I ran a mile without stopping (the first time being during the 5k). And then I went another half a mile without stopping. And I finished 3.1 miles in 56 minutes and some odd seconds on the hardest course in the area. (Running on West Virginia hills is hard.) I remember my family's face when I crossed the finish line, even if there was only one person behind me. And as I sit here remember that, I'm crying. I want that again. So bad. I was so disappointed in myself for so long after my accident...
But no more. All that is behind me, and all I can do is KEEP GOING.
Ben told us to just keep active this weekend, since we didn't have any formal workout times with him for Saturday and Sunday. So Saturday, I walked around the big festival in town, and Sunday was spent fishing with my love. I didn't sit on the couch for hours (as I've been known to do... but I did take a 4 hour nap on Friday afternoon [and I loved every second of it]).
So we started today fresh and ready to conquer our week's worth of sweat-inducing workouts. Today, we started 2 miles on the stationary bike, a mile on the treadmill, and then some burnout situations on arms with a shoulder and chest press.
Well, 5 minutes on the stationary bike, and I couldn't pedal anymore. Ben says something was wrong with my bike (I sure hope so, but if not, I gave it a good fight!), so we took it "easy" on the mile treadmill walk. He wanted us to stay within a minute of our last mile time (mine was 17:45 last Thursday). I walked the whole time instead of doing the jog/walk combo, and I still stayed within a minute of my last time and BEAT my Wednesday time (which was 18:30). I think I came in around 18:20 today. I'm already seeing endurance improvement.
Then we went to shoulder and chest presses. Either burnout or do 25 with 30lbs. I managed 25 on each, but it wasn't without some fighting. Ben was there the whole time, pushing me to keep going when I thought my arms were going to just jump off my body and run away claiming abuse. But I kept hearing Melissa in the back of my head saying, "You can ALWAYS do one more!" So I did one more. And one more after that. And even another after that. Until I hit 25 on BOTH machines.
I'm having trouble functioning at the moment, but I'm alive.
On another note, I've been toying around with the idea of getting a tattoo. First, I wanted a branch of dogwood blossoms. Now, I think I'm going to get a single dogwood blossom with the words "keep going" with it. Possible on the inside of my left foot (the foot I broke). That was my motto back then, and that's my motto now, more than ever.
No matter what life throws you, keep going.
No matter what others say about you, keep going.
No matter how many minutes left on the treadmill, keep going.
Whatever you do, don't stop moving-- keep going.
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