January 4, 2012... I started a blog. This blog was to chronicle the journey to the center of my core, my very being, innate, and raw as could be. It detailed the ups and downs of my weight loss journey and everything in between. These words are from my second blog post:
"I wish I had a picture of what I looked like in July 2011 when I started my weight loss journey, but thankfully, I had finally realized what I actually looked like instead of what I thought I looked like. At that point, I tried to have my picture taken as little as possible. Unless you've ever been a heavy person in a world littered with small people, I don't know if you can ever reach the level of insane self-awareness that we, as large people, live with every single day. We worry if we'll fit on amusement park rides or in a restaurant booth. We struggle with finding fashionable clothes that fit well. We worry that we'll be single forever because we'll never find someone to love us as we are (because we can't even love ourselves as we are). I have never been open about being overweight; I didn't think I needed to be. After all, it was obvious, wasn't it? I mean, I was a walking billboard for every single plus size clothing line out there. It's not as though I could really hide the amount of space I took up in the world. So why should I hide it from myself?"
On July 23, 2015, my weight loss journey changed a little. In July 2015, I weighed 327 pounds. That is 327 cans of beans, blocks of butter, baseballs, and guinea pigs. That is 32 six-foot aluminum step ladders, large bag of potatoes, or adult Maltese dogs. That's 13 two-year old toddlers. Almost 10 cinder blocks. I weighed the same as more than TWO Complete Oxford English Dictionaries.
At my heaviest, somewhere between 2009-2011, I weighed 350 pounds. That's a lot of blocks of butter.Today is July 19, and I weigh 245.2 pounds. I'm still obese, even with 105 pounds gone. I've been asked a lot about how I'm losing the weight. While it's nice that people notice, I have to take this time to say that it's totally up to you whether you tell people how you do it. It's no one's business but your own, frankly, and you have to decide if that's even something you want to discuss with people.Because weight loss is a personal journey. It's different for everyone, and my tactics may not work for you. And that's okay.
I've been a serial dieter since high school, and I'm a life-long learner--- therefore I research and research and research new methods of weight loss. I've done Weight Watchers, Advocare, a Nutritionist, Low Carb, Low Fat, Sugar-Free & Fat-Free (chemical shit storms, by the way), and so many others. I was never happy with my body, with how others saw my body, and with how my body functioned. After losing weight and gaining weight multiple times (it's a vicious cycle), I put my head down and conceded I would be fat my entire life. The 'Fat Funny Friend,' a role I played so well.
July 1, 2011, I declared a Year of Erica and started at a gym. I quickly began working out with a personal trainer and, by May 30, had lost 60 pounds! I was stronger, healthier, and happier than I had been in a LONG time. May 31, I broke my foot, and my broken foot had broken my dreams. I continued on as long as I can could, but life set in and I gained most of the 60 pounds back (over the course of a few years). This portion of my journey taught me a lot about nutrition and what was good for you and what was not. I also learned a lot about my body, what it could handle, and how strong it could actually be.
As the calendar year turned to 2015, I was unhappy with a lot of things in my life, my weight, my attitude, and my mentality being the most obvious. I had been trying to lose weight over the course of the previous few years, but the bottom line was nothing was working. On July 14, I decided to take matters into my own hands and visit a doctor in the Buckhannon area. I had one mission: get a referral for bariatric surgery.
Dr. Amiee Whitehair at Tri-County was my first stop, and from there, she referred me to Dr. Robert Shin at Charleston Area Medical Clinic. I had known a few people who had used Dr. Shin with wonderful results, and I had met him before and liked him. So with bloodwork in hands, I took the trip with my parents to see him on July 23. This was my initial consultation. From there, I completed 6 months of supervised medical weight loss (I actually gained .5 pounds in this stage), along with a slew of other things: endoscopy, more blood work, a breathing test, EKG, psych evaluation, nutritionist appointments... the list goes on. On Dec. 2, I completed the final phase of my pre-op requirements with a psych evaluation, and then waited to hear from the insurance.
First round of blood work done (7/14/2015)
My first home weigh-in at 330.2 pounds (my home scales consistently weigh me 3.5 pounds heavier than the doctor's scales)
After my Psych Eval (12/2/2015)You see, even though I had done everything I needed for insurance approval, there was still a chance I wouldn't be approved. I heard the following week that I was, in fact, approved, and my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery was scheduled for Saturday, Dec. 19, 2015 at 11:15am.Here are some before photos
April 2011
December 16, 2015 (two days before surgery and last full-body photo before)
Some comparison photos
Before my "last supper" at Shogun... liquid diet starts tomorrow!Vertical sleeve gastrectomy is surgery to help with weight loss. The surgeon removes a large portion of your stomach. The new, smaller stomach is about the size of a banana. It limits the amount of food you can eat by making you feel full after eating small amounts of food.
Basics of the surgery
My sister and me before they wheeled me out to surgeryToday is my 7 month Surgiversary, and I am down 85 pounds since, and 104.8 pounds from my highest weight. This surgery absolutely saved my life.But it is most certainly not the easy way out.Did you know that the bodies of most morbidly obese people become so used to being morbidly obese that it is almost impossible to change? This is scientific fact. The way our bodies store and burn fat can shift and become abnormal, making the cycle of weight gain and loss and gain again much more dramatic and much harder to overcome. For some, bariatric surgery is the only way to a healthier life.For many, it is not the choice they make. For me, it was the choice I had to make.I didn't tell many people about my decision to have surgery, not because I was ashamed, but because of the stigmas attached to these surgeries. I wasn't in the right head space to handle them. Many family members were already expressing their concern with the surgery, including some immediate family members. This is the most difficult thing I went through of this entire process. Do you know how difficult it is to finally stand up and say, "This is my life, this is my decision, and that's that?" Until the moment they wheeled me back for surgery, I felt like I was still trying to convince everyone that this decision was the right one. Weight loss is, after all, less calories and more movement. That doesn't change with surgery. I still have to watch what I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat, and I still have to increase my exercise/movement. The difference here is that my now tiny tummy is helping me better gauge all this. I can't overeat because if I do, I get sick. I can't eat much of the wrong stuff because if I do, I get sick. The "sick" part can be anything from a bloated feeling to actually throwing up (this has only happened once to me... once it happens, you don't want it to happen again).
a typical post-op meal (around 1.5-2.5 months out)My tummy is now the size of a banana and can hold between 2-5 oz of food and liquid. Bariatric patients are on a high protein/low carb diet, so I always eat my protein first. Then I'll move to veggies and so on. We are cautioned to stay away from things like bread, popcorn, rice, and pasta because it swells and takes up valuable room in your sleeve. We work toward getting between 60-90g of protein a day.My vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery is the best tool in my tool belt of weight loss. It has given me a new lease on life, and even though the adjustments have been incredibly larger, it was the best decision for me and my medical history. I was one of those abnormal fat people-- I didn't have anything else wrong with me. I didn't have diabetes or hypertension, no sleep apnea, nothing. Yet I am completely convinced that, given my familial medical history, this couldn't have stayed this way for long.Bariatric patients make a life-long commitment to their health. I have to follow up with my surgeon for the rest of my life, and I will be on certain vitamins (B-12) for the rest of my life. I currently take B-12, Biotin (to strengthen my hair because you do experience hair loss after this surgery), vitamin D, pantoprazole (for acid reflux, which can become worse after surgery), and a pre-natal vitamin for the folic acid. I'll likely be on this, or a similar regimen, for the rest of my life. I am okay with this, considering the alternative.
Some side-by-side comparison pictures
College graduation, 25th birthday, and a few from this yearMy weight loss journey is likely not your weight loss journey, and that is okay. Each day, I continue to make my journey the best journey it can be. I get people throwing shade at me for my decision, but what others think of you is NONE of your business. The Bible even tells us this in 1 Corinthians. Guess what? I'm justified, just the way I am, in His glory. That's all I need.
Finally, truly and completely happy in this skinBut I have to urge you that if you know someone who is in the decision-making process of having surgery, or if you know someone who has surgery, please be supportive. I'm not sure it is anyone's goal to have to utilize a bariatric surgeon, so don't make them feel as though it's a lesser option and "doing it yourself is the right way." There is no right way in a weight loss journey-- there is only the way that best fits you and your lifestyle and history. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not mean they are fat and lazy. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not mean they are a failure. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not mean they are any less of a person than someone who lost weight the "natural" way. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not make them any less of a person.The best thing you can do for someone in your life who is anywhere in the process is just support them, because the sleeve life is not an easy one. The decision is not an easy one. If you yourself has not struggled with your own weight, you have no idea what it is like to be in the mind or body of an overweight, obese, morbidly obese class III person. You don't, and that is okay. Be a support system, be there, be present-- that's what they will need the most.
Whatever your journey, you can do it. You are the only person responsible for you. Only you can change your future. If you want to continue to follow my journey, find me on Instagram at @aforeverjourney. Weight loss surgery isn't for everyone. Please research each procedure and see what best fits your lifestyle. Do not go into surgery blindly-- this decision will affect you for the rest of your life. If you have questions, I'd love to answer them! I could point you in the direction of a couple great surgeons in the area. Talk to your family, but also realize that you will encounter skeptics. Remember that this decision is yours and yours alone, because you are the one who will have to live with the consequences. Also know that everyone's journey is different, and not all surgeries go as planned. Please inform yourself of all health risks associated with these types of surgeries. Also, check out the below resources for information on bariatric surgery:https://asmbs.org/patients/bariatric-surgery-procedureshttp://www.obesitycoverage.com/bariatric-surgery-selector-tool/http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/bariatric-surgery/basics/definition/prc-20019138You can also find others who have had various bariatric surgeries on YouTube or Instagram. Search the hashtags #wls, #rny, or #vsg to find me and others like me who are living the daily struggles and successes of bariatric surgery.
x
x
x
"I wish I had a picture of what I looked like in July 2011 when I started my weight loss journey, but thankfully, I had finally realized what I actually looked like instead of what I thought I looked like. At that point, I tried to have my picture taken as little as possible. Unless you've ever been a heavy person in a world littered with small people, I don't know if you can ever reach the level of insane self-awareness that we, as large people, live with every single day. We worry if we'll fit on amusement park rides or in a restaurant booth. We struggle with finding fashionable clothes that fit well. We worry that we'll be single forever because we'll never find someone to love us as we are (because we can't even love ourselves as we are). I have never been open about being overweight; I didn't think I needed to be. After all, it was obvious, wasn't it? I mean, I was a walking billboard for every single plus size clothing line out there. It's not as though I could really hide the amount of space I took up in the world. So why should I hide it from myself?"
On July 23, 2015, my weight loss journey changed a little. In July 2015, I weighed 327 pounds. That is 327 cans of beans, blocks of butter, baseballs, and guinea pigs. That is 32 six-foot aluminum step ladders, large bag of potatoes, or adult Maltese dogs. That's 13 two-year old toddlers. Almost 10 cinder blocks. I weighed the same as more than TWO Complete Oxford English Dictionaries.
At my heaviest, somewhere between 2009-2011, I weighed 350 pounds. That's a lot of blocks of butter.Today is July 19, and I weigh 245.2 pounds. I'm still obese, even with 105 pounds gone. I've been asked a lot about how I'm losing the weight. While it's nice that people notice, I have to take this time to say that it's totally up to you whether you tell people how you do it. It's no one's business but your own, frankly, and you have to decide if that's even something you want to discuss with people.Because weight loss is a personal journey. It's different for everyone, and my tactics may not work for you. And that's okay.
I've been a serial dieter since high school, and I'm a life-long learner--- therefore I research and research and research new methods of weight loss. I've done Weight Watchers, Advocare, a Nutritionist, Low Carb, Low Fat, Sugar-Free & Fat-Free (chemical shit storms, by the way), and so many others. I was never happy with my body, with how others saw my body, and with how my body functioned. After losing weight and gaining weight multiple times (it's a vicious cycle), I put my head down and conceded I would be fat my entire life. The 'Fat Funny Friend,' a role I played so well.
July 1, 2011, I declared a Year of Erica and started at a gym. I quickly began working out with a personal trainer and, by May 30, had lost 60 pounds! I was stronger, healthier, and happier than I had been in a LONG time. May 31, I broke my foot, and my broken foot had broken my dreams. I continued on as long as I can could, but life set in and I gained most of the 60 pounds back (over the course of a few years). This portion of my journey taught me a lot about nutrition and what was good for you and what was not. I also learned a lot about my body, what it could handle, and how strong it could actually be.
As the calendar year turned to 2015, I was unhappy with a lot of things in my life, my weight, my attitude, and my mentality being the most obvious. I had been trying to lose weight over the course of the previous few years, but the bottom line was nothing was working. On July 14, I decided to take matters into my own hands and visit a doctor in the Buckhannon area. I had one mission: get a referral for bariatric surgery.
Dr. Amiee Whitehair at Tri-County was my first stop, and from there, she referred me to Dr. Robert Shin at Charleston Area Medical Clinic. I had known a few people who had used Dr. Shin with wonderful results, and I had met him before and liked him. So with bloodwork in hands, I took the trip with my parents to see him on July 23. This was my initial consultation. From there, I completed 6 months of supervised medical weight loss (I actually gained .5 pounds in this stage), along with a slew of other things: endoscopy, more blood work, a breathing test, EKG, psych evaluation, nutritionist appointments... the list goes on. On Dec. 2, I completed the final phase of my pre-op requirements with a psych evaluation, and then waited to hear from the insurance.
First round of blood work done (7/14/2015)
My first home weigh-in at 330.2 pounds (my home scales consistently weigh me 3.5 pounds heavier than the doctor's scales)
After my Psych Eval (12/2/2015)You see, even though I had done everything I needed for insurance approval, there was still a chance I wouldn't be approved. I heard the following week that I was, in fact, approved, and my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery was scheduled for Saturday, Dec. 19, 2015 at 11:15am.Here are some before photos
April 2011
December 16, 2015 (two days before surgery and last full-body photo before)
Some comparison photos
Before my "last supper" at Shogun... liquid diet starts tomorrow!Vertical sleeve gastrectomy is surgery to help with weight loss. The surgeon removes a large portion of your stomach. The new, smaller stomach is about the size of a banana. It limits the amount of food you can eat by making you feel full after eating small amounts of food.
Basics of the surgery
My sister and me before they wheeled me out to surgeryToday is my 7 month Surgiversary, and I am down 85 pounds since, and 104.8 pounds from my highest weight. This surgery absolutely saved my life.But it is most certainly not the easy way out.Did you know that the bodies of most morbidly obese people become so used to being morbidly obese that it is almost impossible to change? This is scientific fact. The way our bodies store and burn fat can shift and become abnormal, making the cycle of weight gain and loss and gain again much more dramatic and much harder to overcome. For some, bariatric surgery is the only way to a healthier life.For many, it is not the choice they make. For me, it was the choice I had to make.I didn't tell many people about my decision to have surgery, not because I was ashamed, but because of the stigmas attached to these surgeries. I wasn't in the right head space to handle them. Many family members were already expressing their concern with the surgery, including some immediate family members. This is the most difficult thing I went through of this entire process. Do you know how difficult it is to finally stand up and say, "This is my life, this is my decision, and that's that?" Until the moment they wheeled me back for surgery, I felt like I was still trying to convince everyone that this decision was the right one. Weight loss is, after all, less calories and more movement. That doesn't change with surgery. I still have to watch what I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat, and I still have to increase my exercise/movement. The difference here is that my now tiny tummy is helping me better gauge all this. I can't overeat because if I do, I get sick. I can't eat much of the wrong stuff because if I do, I get sick. The "sick" part can be anything from a bloated feeling to actually throwing up (this has only happened once to me... once it happens, you don't want it to happen again).
a typical post-op meal (around 1.5-2.5 months out)My tummy is now the size of a banana and can hold between 2-5 oz of food and liquid. Bariatric patients are on a high protein/low carb diet, so I always eat my protein first. Then I'll move to veggies and so on. We are cautioned to stay away from things like bread, popcorn, rice, and pasta because it swells and takes up valuable room in your sleeve. We work toward getting between 60-90g of protein a day.My vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery is the best tool in my tool belt of weight loss. It has given me a new lease on life, and even though the adjustments have been incredibly larger, it was the best decision for me and my medical history. I was one of those abnormal fat people-- I didn't have anything else wrong with me. I didn't have diabetes or hypertension, no sleep apnea, nothing. Yet I am completely convinced that, given my familial medical history, this couldn't have stayed this way for long.Bariatric patients make a life-long commitment to their health. I have to follow up with my surgeon for the rest of my life, and I will be on certain vitamins (B-12) for the rest of my life. I currently take B-12, Biotin (to strengthen my hair because you do experience hair loss after this surgery), vitamin D, pantoprazole (for acid reflux, which can become worse after surgery), and a pre-natal vitamin for the folic acid. I'll likely be on this, or a similar regimen, for the rest of my life. I am okay with this, considering the alternative.
Some side-by-side comparison pictures
College graduation, 25th birthday, and a few from this yearMy weight loss journey is likely not your weight loss journey, and that is okay. Each day, I continue to make my journey the best journey it can be. I get people throwing shade at me for my decision, but what others think of you is NONE of your business. The Bible even tells us this in 1 Corinthians. Guess what? I'm justified, just the way I am, in His glory. That's all I need.
Finally, truly and completely happy in this skinBut I have to urge you that if you know someone who is in the decision-making process of having surgery, or if you know someone who has surgery, please be supportive. I'm not sure it is anyone's goal to have to utilize a bariatric surgeon, so don't make them feel as though it's a lesser option and "doing it yourself is the right way." There is no right way in a weight loss journey-- there is only the way that best fits you and your lifestyle and history. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not mean they are fat and lazy. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not mean they are a failure. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not mean they are any less of a person than someone who lost weight the "natural" way. Just because someone has weight loss surgery does not make them any less of a person.The best thing you can do for someone in your life who is anywhere in the process is just support them, because the sleeve life is not an easy one. The decision is not an easy one. If you yourself has not struggled with your own weight, you have no idea what it is like to be in the mind or body of an overweight, obese, morbidly obese class III person. You don't, and that is okay. Be a support system, be there, be present-- that's what they will need the most.
Whatever your journey, you can do it. You are the only person responsible for you. Only you can change your future. If you want to continue to follow my journey, find me on Instagram at @aforeverjourney. Weight loss surgery isn't for everyone. Please research each procedure and see what best fits your lifestyle. Do not go into surgery blindly-- this decision will affect you for the rest of your life. If you have questions, I'd love to answer them! I could point you in the direction of a couple great surgeons in the area. Talk to your family, but also realize that you will encounter skeptics. Remember that this decision is yours and yours alone, because you are the one who will have to live with the consequences. Also know that everyone's journey is different, and not all surgeries go as planned. Please inform yourself of all health risks associated with these types of surgeries. Also, check out the below resources for information on bariatric surgery:https://asmbs.org/patients/bariatric-surgery-procedureshttp://www.obesitycoverage.com/bariatric-surgery-selector-tool/http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/bariatric-surgery/basics/definition/prc-20019138You can also find others who have had various bariatric surgeries on YouTube or Instagram. Search the hashtags #wls, #rny, or #vsg to find me and others like me who are living the daily struggles and successes of bariatric surgery. x
x
x
